Leading Ladies

Boys are over-seas?  Don't worry, I got this...

Boys are over-seas? Don’t worry, I got this…

 I’d like to start this post by all getting on the same page at the heart of the issue.  Being a lady, and being a leader, is hard stuff.  Can we all agree on this point?  Choosing to take leadership responsibilities, regardless of gender, is a difficult road fraught with challenge, loneliness, and turmoil.  Successful leaders spend time in self-reflection, strategic planning, and courageous execution.  Now if you’re a woman, there seems to be an added layer of complexity…and here I believe is why.

I truly believe that woman were created to be Adored by all men.

Princess Kate pretty much has the Leading Lady role down.  And she worked 8 years for this promotion.

Princess Kate pretty much has the Leading Lady role down. And she worked 8 years for this promotion.

Protected as mothers and keepers of the house. Bringers of Beauty – be that our own appearance when we enter a room, or when we decorate it, or by our persona.  We tend to be relationally astute – and make great hosts – because we take time to acquire the grace and manners to make others feel special, cared for, and welcome.   This is one reason why most often social calenders fall to us, (I sometimes fear if were up to husbands that we would never see our friends), we are fantastic organizers, and excel in the strategy of relationships.

01356~I-m-Happy-Posters

This is where “Desperate Housewives” gets its start…

All of these traits are wonderful qualities that enhance our society, and give our men-folk reason to dote on us.  Unfortunately, several TV shows in the 50’s managed to paint a picture of a woman doing all these things without an opinion or a purpose, and now it’s been demonized for the next generation.

But wait!  Is it possible?  Can we be educated, successful leaders in the world, AND good wives?  I say, YES!

 

My way, or no way!

My way, or no way!

But what if we get married, and we feel like someone else is making way too many of the decisions?  What if we’ve been so used to being “top-dog” in our former life, that we find it very hard to let someone else hold the leash…even if they do it with love?

 

 

"My Lord, what..." "It's cool Bro, I'm just here to serve."

“My Lord! What…”
“It’s cool Bro, I’m just here to serve.”

What has softened my heart is the realization that when Jesus made me, he made me to be like him – a Servant Leader.  (pause, yes, read that again).  Think about the work-place environment.  If you are managing people, and expect them to be successful, you need to be serving them.  You inspire them with pep-talks, you make sure they have resources, you fight their battles with the dreaded “higher-ups”, you fill out their paper work…why?  All so that they can do their jobs more effectively.  Oh, and usually, the managers just get blamed for being busy and making more money, and taking an occasional day off.  Sound familiar?

 

I feel my job as a wife is to be a “servant-leader” to my husband.  Not the angry boss who throws dishes when we screws up, (wait, that never happens…), but the #1 team-mate who creates an environment for him to thrive.

 

Woman with a Plan

Woman with a Plan

For example… I have learned that the “honey-do” list gets tackled much more quickly when The Man has had a good night’s sleep, and a full stomach after work.  Therefore, I “serve him” by helping him relax and hit the sack early, or by whipping up a quick dinner or snack whenever he walks in the door.  Now really, (shhhh, don’t tell!), I’m not just serving him like a servant, I’m leading him to be at his best, SO THAT our family can be at it’s best. (i.e., that back door will get fixed.)*

Are you picking up what I’m throwing down here friends?  Leading isn’t actually about giving orders and having them followed.  It’s about creating the environment for greatness, and praying it into fruition.  So whether you are a single dame, married woman, or mom-extraordinaire, you ARE a leader in your life.  Let’s start acting like it, and with a little strategic planning, we can lead our horses to water…AND make them drink!

*Caveat – since I’ve been ill so much lately, my hubby does take on a lot more of the domestic tasks.  Division of labor is key, that’s why you’re partners, so keep communicating about what works best for you both!
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Good Friday

Not in the budget...

Not in the budget…

You know that feeling you get when someone buys you a present you just could never afford yourself?  Like, your friend buys you a brand new Coach purse from this Spring collection that you’ve drooled over in the department store?  (Gentlemen, pretend it’s a power drill.)  On the one hand, you’re almost embarrassed to carry it because you know you could never have bought that, it seems almost like you’re “posing” as someone better or richer than you are by waltzing through the coffee line with that bag on your arm.  However, if you don’t wear it, the friend who bought it for you would be so sad, she would think you didn’t like it, that she’s got you all wrong, or even maybe that you don’t value her friendship!  Eeek, no one wants that.

What if, instead of continuing to think of it as the “one you could never afford”, you saw that purse as a representation of what a kind friend you have?  And that you are a person who is worthy of love enough that she would think to get that for you?  Could you then enjoy that dashing leather masterpiece with all the confidence and fun with which it was intended?

This is how I feel about what Jesus did for me sometimes.  On this day, many years ago, at the young age of 33, He willingly

The all-access pass to your Creator

The all-access pass to your Creator

allowed himself to be tortured, and mocked, and crucified…so that I could wear a badge of innocence in God’s eyes.  He didn’t try to haggle down the price of my life, or wait for a sale, He took the worst society could throw at Him, and never threw it back.  Just thinking about it makes me feel like I have to come groveling on my knees anytime I ask God for something, because I know I didn’t pay for that badge that makes me worthy in His sight.  But is that what Jesus would want?  Maybe not.  When I really think about it, nothing but love could have helped Him do what He did.  He got absolutely nothing out of it for Himself.  So this gift that He gave me in love, like a birthday gift from a best friend, I believe, is meant to be worn with confidence and joy.  I need to learn to bring that attitude to everything I face in life.  Jesus did not redeem me to my Creator so that I would cower in shame at the price for the rest of my life, He did it so that I could be free of shame for the rest of my life!

Feel the joy!  Coffee sold separately.

Feel the joy!

It’s a hard lesson to learn, but what better concept to ponder on today of all days?  I hope and pray that you’re letting God in, wherever you are today.  That you are claiming victory over the challenges and the emotions they bring in this life.  That you are looking forward to the assurance that it is never to late to celebrate what Easter is all about.  “He is Risen!  He is Risen Indeed.”

Matthew 21:28 – It’s never too late, He still wants you:

28 “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’

29 “‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

30 “Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.

31 “Which of the two did what his father wanted?”  “The first,” they answered.  Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. 32 For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectorsand the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.