I’d like to start this post by all getting on the same page at the heart of the issue. Being a lady, and being a leader, is hard stuff. Can we all agree on this point? Choosing to take leadership responsibilities, regardless of gender, is a difficult road fraught with challenge, loneliness, and turmoil. Successful leaders spend time in self-reflection, strategic planning, and courageous execution. Now if you’re a woman, there seems to be an added layer of complexity…and here I believe is why.
I truly believe that woman were created to be Adored by all men.
Protected as mothers and keepers of the house. Bringers of Beauty – be that our own appearance when we enter a room, or when we decorate it, or by our persona. We tend to be relationally astute – and make great hosts – because we take time to acquire the grace and manners to make others feel special, cared for, and welcome. This is one reason why most often social calenders fall to us, (I sometimes fear if were up to husbands that we would never see our friends), we are fantastic organizers, and excel in the strategy of relationships.
All of these traits are wonderful qualities that enhance our society, and give our men-folk reason to dote on us. Unfortunately, several TV shows in the 50’s managed to paint a picture of a woman doing all these things without an opinion or a purpose, and now it’s been demonized for the next generation.
But wait! Is it possible? Can we be educated, successful leaders in the world, AND good wives? I say, YES!
But what if we get married, and we feel like someone else is making way too many of the decisions? What if we’ve been so used to being “top-dog” in our former life, that we find it very hard to let someone else hold the leash…even if they do it with love?
What has softened my heart is the realization that when Jesus made me, he made me to be like him – a Servant Leader. (pause, yes, read that again). Think about the work-place environment. If you are managing people, and expect them to be successful, you need to be serving them. You inspire them with pep-talks, you make sure they have resources, you fight their battles with the dreaded “higher-ups”, you fill out their paper work…why? All so that they can do their jobs more effectively. Oh, and usually, the managers just get blamed for being busy and making more money, and taking an occasional day off. Sound familiar?
I feel my job as a wife is to be a “servant-leader” to my husband. Not the angry boss who throws dishes when we screws up, (wait, that never happens…), but the #1 team-mate who creates an environment for him to thrive.
For example… I have learned that the “honey-do” list gets tackled much more quickly when The Man has had a good night’s sleep, and a full stomach after work. Therefore, I “serve him” by helping him relax and hit the sack early, or by whipping up a quick dinner or snack whenever he walks in the door. Now really, (shhhh, don’t tell!), I’m not just serving him like a servant, I’m leading him to be at his best, SO THAT our family can be at it’s best. (i.e., that back door will get fixed.)*
Are you picking up what I’m throwing down here friends? Leading isn’t actually about giving orders and having them followed. It’s about creating the environment for greatness, and praying it into fruition. So whether you are a single dame, married woman, or mom-extraordinaire, you ARE a leader in your life. Let’s start acting like it, and with a little strategic planning, we can lead our horses to water…AND make them drink!*Caveat – since I’ve been ill so much lately, my hubby does take on a lot more of the domestic tasks. Division of labor is key, that’s why you’re partners, so keep communicating about what works best for you both!