Hello dear friends!
Yesterday marked 7 months of marriage for Edward and I…wow, is that all? I still look at him sometimes and have to let it really sink in, “yeah, I’m married to that handsome guy!” (Especially when he sleeps, he’s so calm when he sleeps!) But by now, it feels pretty normal. The blessing and the challenge of these first months together has been that God has totally removed our ability to be independent from each other. I think there are couples that have very in-grained careers, habits, personalities, and belongings, and post-wedding-day it is easy for them to slide back into those grooves, and it may feel not much has changed.
Well, no ruts allowed here! By virtue of being in a new location together, and
my illness dominating our lives, we have been forced very quickly to battle through the worst of our demons together, and find new ways to live out who we are. At first, this was quite scary. Instead of sweet dates every week, there was lots of doctor appointments, online research, and creating of concoctions to try and tame my Crohn’s. However, I think we are past the worst, and coming into more of a rythum. We found a doctor we like, the new house is perfect, and we’ve found almost everything we need in the area. The best part is that we’ve had to figure it out between the 2 of us. What we like, what we need, what we do, as a married couple. Not much has carried over from previous existence, and that is getting easier as time goes by.
We don’t shock each other as much anymore, and that is a good thing. In fact, I’ve started ending some sentences with, “so that’s the deal, and baby don’t you even…” and then predict exactly what he was about to do. He acts bothered, but is secretly pleased, “Babe, how did you know? Get out of my head!” Smugly I reply, “I can’t Baby, I married you.” It’s one thing to know a person’s heart, their morals and character…it’s another to learn their habits, reactions, and hang-ups. Some folks date for 5 years so that by the time they get married there are no surprises, (if there are, that was some good acting all that time!), but I wouldn’t trade the way we jumped in for anything.
Button-pushing can be a sport in our house, but we’ve learned to work with it. For example: I’ll say something annoying, Ed will clench his fist, look side-to-side, then pretend he just woke up like a crazy man. “What, what just happened? I, I must have blacked out!”. Then I say, “Oh honey, is your PTSD acting up again?” Which he really hates, and then there is either head-shaking or tickling depending on the day.
We look at each day’s challenges as building for the future. Even now, we are learning how we shall grow old together. I may have a head start age-wise, but Ed wins on the grey hairs. He tries to claim they’re from me…awww!